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What was your experience with a Psych evaluation?

7/13/2020

Often times survivors can see the toxic traits in their STBX better than anyone and they hope that psych evaluation would bring to the abusive traits so that the judge could make better informed decisions about custody. The book "Splitting" by Billy Eddie is a fantastic resource prior to requesting and divorcing a person with Narcissistic, abusive or other troubling traits.

"I got a forensic psych eval that cost me $30k. All it said was he is “capable of making decisions in the best interest” of our son but “only time will tell”.
"Yes. It was recommended by a Court Appointed Advisor. He was required to pay for it."
"I intentionally scheduled my evaluation first so she heard my version of events first. I also provided additional documentation such as a copy of a police report and a few email exchanges. For each email exchange I included a short paragraph explaining why I thought the exchange was relevant to the pattern of concerning behavior I was attempting to establish. Ultimately, he was found to have unspecified personality disorder with histrionic and narcissistic traits - I was not assessed with any mental health issues. The evaluator testified at trial, but I also hired an expert witness to review the psych evals and testify as to how my nex's diagnosis would impact his parenting. This really helped the court to understand that his condition isn't really treatable. I was awarded full physical and legal custody and my nex has had no contact with our child for over 6 years because he didn't want to follow the custody order."
"Yes, but it didn’t really matter at the end of the day. He found a “psychiatrist” who wrote a one page letter stating that he was cured from his PTSD from the war and was otherwise a very sane and rational man. Highly recommended him as a father. That one bogus piece of paper was accepted by the courts and considered sufficient enough to give him 50/50 custody."
"Waste of $$$ they can and do “pass” these even though they are supposedly designed not to be. Spent $6k on one (me and ex) didn’t show a thing except “anger issues” in his part"
"Most evaluators have little to no experience with NPD or personality disorders."
"I didn’t know such thing was possible, but the judge ordered it after reading some texts in a OP case. He also required him to have six therapy sessions (the max he was allowed to order) per evaluation recommendation."
"The judge ordered my nex to take a psychosexual evaluation, but I had to cover all expenses. The Dr. that evaluated him found enough red flags that she called CPS, recommended a treatment system, diagnosed him with a sexual deviancy problem, & noted narcissistic traits, but that more testing was needed before making that a diagnosis. Unfortunately the narc convinced the judge to not take the report seriously & it had no bearing on our final judgment. Neither did the polygraph or a ton of other evidence. Narcs are master manipulators. I was told the evidence was so much & so damning it wasn’t really necessary for me to share my story. So I simply pointed back to the evidence. I regret that now. I’m not sure it would have made a difference, but now I’ll never know. Literally all the evidence was against him & in my favor, but he still got everything he wanted"
Waste of time and money.
"Keep in mind if the judge doesn’t give weight to forensic reports, (as well as the attorney for the child) it sadly will not matter what the report finds or recommends."

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What the heck happens if I run out of money for my lawyer ?? He just wins ?????????

7/9/2020

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This is an all too frequent question. High Conflict people will try to win by exhaustion. One of these exhaustion tools is exhausting all resources and money. They would rather bankrupt everyone (even their kids). Here are some responses from people who also have been there:

"Document everything and if you can prove they are being purposefully antagonistic they can end up being responsible for all or part of your attorney fees."
"If they threaten or say they will be purposefully antagonistic you can use that to show the judge that you are working with a possibly high-conflict person."
"This is EXACTLY where I am at.....I had to release my attorney......I’m in about 27k and no end in sigh"
"You keep fighting pro se"
"I had my psychiatrist write a letter to the judge that representing myself was too triggering (CPTSD) and the court, under the ADA (Washington state general rule 33), had to provide accommodations... which meant appointed counsel. Now the court pays for my attorney."
" Whatever assets you all own will be sold. Court will get their money and you two split whats left."
"That is were I was at. He had his mother paying his bill and I was paying my own. Lawyers don’t work for free and basically charged me for arguing about how he was going to get paid."
"Same. I"m at two years in one more week."
No child support, no back child support, no alimony, nada. I"m about to fire him and just sign with my stbx lawyer.
"No, you go pro se. Give up your lawyer now and find a consulting lawyer, narcs plan it for you to go bankcrupt from lawyers fees. Let them be the one paying fees."
"Deeper pockets always has advantage ... you have to be smart ... I hope that does not happen for you."
"In some places domestic violence centers will provide representation free of charge."

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What was your experience with a Psych evaluation?

What the heck happens if I run out of money for my lawyer ?? He just wins ?????????

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